I recently re-watched Bo Burnham’s excellent Netflix special Inside, written, shot and edited entirely by Bo himself from the confines of his room while in lockdown.
A little bit of everything, all of the time…
Bo frantically and somewhat maniacally riffs this line during his song Welcome to the Internet, which takes the listener on a journey to the darkest corners of today’s digital hellscape, stopping only briefly for one pained glance back at the warmth and naivete of the internet during the late 90s.
As a millennial myself, this particular concept – the idea that we possess at our fingertips the ability to essentially explore any topic or interest to a depth entirely of our choosing – is something I’m both familiar and uncomfortable with. I can even be lazy and forgo providing examples of the most outlandish Google searches I can conjure, because this is limited only by your imagination and not mine.
This makes me uncomfortable because I frequently find myself slouched in my chair at home, one hand on the edge of my keyboard as if ready to pounce at the promise of productivity, the other propping my head up by my elbow, as I watch the blank and often listless features on my increasingly lined face staring back at me in the soft gloom of a monitor at rest.
As I sit there, the possibilities of what I can do leave me paralysed with choice.
Should I head to YouTube and search for the seven most essential knots that you should know by heart in case you ever need to secure a load under pressure?
Should I apply for a new job on Seek?
Should I look up the origins of the Russian campaign in the Second World War and the impact that it had on the eventual outcome of the conflict?
Should I check the latest stats on covid for the suburbs surrounding me?
Should I go back to step one and ponder that one again? Cat videos? tweets by controversial American political figures?
Inevitably, I maintain my position of silent apathy, discontentedly content to simply pass the time by dwelling on the mounting stress of my indecision, bitterly compounded by the unfortunate recognition of the pathetic nature of my plight.
So here’s to the internet – the greatest way to live out the 21st Century marriage between analysis paralysis and decision fatigue, brought to you by your favourite tech company in stunning high definition for the cheap price of your attention, sense of purpose and sanity.
TJDempsey 